thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
