Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
