She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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