your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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