Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Green mimosas i think yes
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
