Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
