The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
