There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize