jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
