maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
