Where is the hickey?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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