see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
