How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
