It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
