I just made out with a guy for $7.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
