You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
