If that was your dad, he is hot
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Congratulations! We have a period
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