She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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