I cannot find my penis.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
