I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Operation Purity has been aborted
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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