I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sorry about my life...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
