Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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