i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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