I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can you bring me the toilet please
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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