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how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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