Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
