The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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