I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
