We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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