She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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