I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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