im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
