Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize