i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
