Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
