Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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