ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
