also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
