Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
