from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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