At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
