Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
