hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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