You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
