screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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