we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
