By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
