she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
