theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
