Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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