when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
