i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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